What girls like and what you should give them are two totally different things.  What girls really like are glittery gold, to be treated like a princess, romantic nights, nice clothes, expensive drinks.  Not every girl is like this (because sometimes you’ll meet that one that just likes to wear jeans, chill with the guys, hit up mcdonalds), but in the end, she’ll grow up and deep down she wants to be a woman with nice things.

But if you supplicated her and provided her with every wish, would you win? It’s a paradox.  You won’t win.  Everyone wants what they can’t have.  So what do you give them?

You give them exactly what you want them to have which is… whatever you want! If she deserves a nice dinner, give it to her! But only if she deserves it.  She treats you like shit?  Don’t buy her gifts! Don’t give her more attention than she deserves.

When you give her what she deserves, and give her only what you want, she will begin to be trained just like you want her to be.  And she will begin to accept what you give her as normal and not EXPECT to be taken out every night.  Once you get her where you want, you will be respected and in a much better position.  Don’t just give her what she wants, give her what you want to give her.

Hygiene is extremely important, and can be fixed so easily most of the time!! Here are my suggestions for common problems:

1. Teeth & Breath. This is pretty easy, because toothbrushes cost about $1 each.  I party a lot so I almost always carry around an extra toothbrush in my leather jacket. Pretty funny right? Well when I roll over to my girl’s house I have a toothbrush right there with fresh breath and I don’t have to worry.

Wow.  It seems like there is a LOT of bad advice going on around.  Let me address a few that I’ve heard:

You have to have balls to talk to her and tell her how you really feel. That = Bullshit!!!! Why? She already knows how you feel.  You probably already tried to explain it to her and failed, that’s why you’re still broken up.  Somehow, you came across as needy because you really “need her” and that actually pushed her farther away.  In this case, you’re going to have to fake it for a little while until you can get over being needy before you can start pushing her attraction triggers to actually get her back.

Ignore her. Right, you could ignore her, but most likely she broke up with you.  And if she broke up with you, that means she is emotionally feeling not as attracted to you, nor hanging out with you (at least as much as before).  If you totally ignore her you are going to look like you are running away from your problems (and you will become very distant from her as well).  There is the thought that “if I ignore her, she’ll see how important I was in her life and how much she needs me” but that’s not exactly how it’s going to work.  Instead, while you’re sitting around the house thinking about how much she should be thinking about you, she’s probably out playing beer pong with some dudes in jerseys trying to lick her face before they invite her back into their room to watch “Wedding Crashers” then fuck the shit outta her.  oops.  Guess totally ignoring her didn’t work.

Move On. This is actually the closest to “good” advice that I’ve heard.  Yes you could move on, because sometimes break ups are MEANT to happen and they should.  But other times, there is just one person in the relationship who’s Dad didn’t teach them enough about women, and it is going to take a little interneting (internet learning) to get up to speed. No need to be embarrassed.  You can do something about it now and change it all around, because this is LIFE! Hell yeah.  Now go get em!

Californication is a kick ass show from Showtime.  I actually watched this a few years ago and really enjoyed it.  The basis is that David Dechovney plays a bad ass writer gone bad that is suffering from long term writers block as well as his major relationship issues.  He has no problem getting laid (and often does) but the problem is, he’s still in love with his wife.

The entire first season deals with crazy antics and plotlines of him being the bad ass that he is and trying to nonchelantly (but intensely at the same time) trying to win his ex-wife back.  The show is awesome and inspiring, and would definitely recommend it.

Alright I’m off to watch seasons 2, 3, and 4 since I just learned they are out now!